“Try to say it's over…
Say the word goodbye…”
He was holding her close. She was looking at him; her eyes resembled mine when I was in his arms.
He stopped and turned to look at me. His gaze pierced through me.
Ria smiled smugly at me. She held on tighter to Gino. “He was never yours. I had his heart all the time he was with you.” She said confidently.
The tears were threatening to escape from my eyes but I bit my lips to stop it from falling. I wouldn’t give her that satisfaction.
I turned to Gino. I looked in his eyes and expected to see a look of remorse. I expected to hear him say he was wrong, that he realized he loves me more than he loves Ria. Instead, he looked at me with those cold eyes, no trace of the beautiful memories we once shared.
“I’m sorry…” He said. I stared at him. I stared at the man I thought I knew. I felt my heart being shattered to pieces with his words. I’m sorry…
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. My whole body became numb.
Then I blacked out.
I woke with a bolt. I looked at the clock beside my bed and breathed a sigh of relief.
It was just a dream, I told myself silently. A bad dream. I lay once again and held my pillow tight.
Maybe it wasn’t a dream after all, I thought to myself. He chose her over me after all, I thought, bitterly. It was more like a subtle way of telling me I became his alternative to Ria while she was away. A mere substitute.
I diverted my attention from my sad realizations to the picture that was resting on the cosmetic table. It was Gian and I’s photo taken at
“Hey, that hurts!” I yelled in protest as Gian threw big chunks of snow towards me.
He stopped and ran towards me. “Sorry. Did hit too hard?” He asked, concerned with my welfare. I looked up at him and smiled.
“No!” I replied and crushed a chunk of snow on his face. “Utu-uto! Haha!” I laughed and danced around. He wiped the snow from his faced and advanced towards me.
“Utu-uto pala ha!” He challenged as he chased after me. I screamed and ran away from him but he kept on running towards me.
Due to the length of his limbs, he was able to catch me in a flash. He tackled me and we both fell to the ground; laughing as we rolled in the ice that formed on the ground.
I smiled despite of myself as I reminisced that moment we shared. Gian. He was my knight and shining armor. He came when I needed a friend. He made me smile when I was having a hard time finding a reason to.
I closed my eyes, hoping for a beautiful dream that will meet me in my sleep.
*
“She told me, ‘Ria, do you seriously…” I subconsciously blocked Ria’s words and drifted to a familiar place in my mind. The place where Faith still belonged to me.
“What are you looking at?” I asked her as she was staring at the sky. We were both lying on the grass.
“Those two brightest stars.” She pointed towards the sky. “Look at them. They’re shining right at us!” I watched her eyes lit up as she gazed at the stars.
“You? What are you looking at?” She asked; her gaze still focused on the sky. I paused and smiled.
“The brightest star of them all.” I replied, not taking my eyes off her.
She turned to look at me and caught me staring at her. She blushed involuntarily and flashed a smile. The smile that made my heart beat uncontrollably.
Her smile faded and I was back at the coffee shop.
Ria was staring at me. Her frustration was evident.
“Why did you choose me?” She asked. I was dumbfounded.
“I ahh, you… why are you asking me that?” I asked, slightly annoyed.
“Why did you choose me?” She asked again. “Don’t you think it’s a bit insulting on my part that you’re with me and yet you can’t stop thinking of her?”
She waited for my reply but I couldn’t. I couldn’t formulate a rational answer to her question.
She sighed heavily as if in exhaustion and stood up. Just as she was nearing the exit, I regained the voice I momentarily lost earlier.
“I love her.” The words escaped from my mouth all of a sudden.
Ria stopped. With her back towards me, she laughed dryly.
“You didn’t have to tell me. I knew all along.” She replied sadly as she walked away.
*
Five months had passed. The pain was gradually being replaced by the hope of a better day ahead for me.
I looked at Gian who was sleeping at the bus seat next to me. We were on our way to Tokyo Disneyland. I looked at the man who had been the reason behind my smiles lately.
“Gian, I’m so glad I met you.” I whispered.
“Me too.” He replied with his eyes closed. I was caught off guard. He smiled.
“Thank you.” I smiled as well. He opened his eyes and sat upright. He stared deep in my eyes.
“I love you.” His words caught me by surprise. I was speechless.
“You don’t need to reply. I just said what I feel.” He smiled patiently. I couldn’t contain the beating of my heart.
That night I couldn’t get some sleep. His words replayed on my mind over and over.
“I love you…”
He loves me. My savior loves me. The man who taught me to smile again is now encouraging me to open up my heart once more.
It wouldn’t be easy, I know. It would be hard to push away the memories of the love I once knew.
But I will go through this. We will go through this together. Gian and I.
He was able to make me laugh after all. How hard can it be to make me fall in love again?
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