Chapter 1: Fading Memories

“Watching us fade…
What can I do?”

I saw him. He was just as I expected. Everything seemed perfect. He was standing by the swing, just as he said he would be, wearing the shirt I gave him; the one that his mom said didn’t fit him right but he wore nonetheless. He was breathtaking, as always. I felt a slight tug in my heart as I uttered those words in my mind. He is the man who owns my heart; the reason for my existence.

I knew I should have run towards him; wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I love him but I didn’t. I couldn’t. My feet refused to follow the steps of my heart. He was standing there, ten steps away from me and reaching out his arms for me to hold on to and yet, the arms that held on were not mine. He was lost in their embrace; him and the girl he once loved. The girl he once held dear in his heart is now in his arms again. He was lost in her embrace that he failed to notice the single tear that rolled down my cheek; the tear that I tried so hard to contain.

I walked away, unable to notice the heavy downpour that came. I didn’t see the road ahead. All I saw were the tears that were forming in my eyes. I held on tight to the letter he gave me; the letter that once gave me hope now shatters my heart.

“Do you believe in destiny?” I once asked him as we were watching a mother playing with her child.

“Destiny?”

“That everyone has a predetermined destiny.” I smiled dreamily at him.

“I don’t” My smile faded. “I believe we create our own destiny. We choose what will happen with our lives.”

I pondered on it for a while then looked at him dreamily. “Then let’s make it our destiny to be together always, ok?” He smiled and kissed my cheek. But he didn’t reply.

I opened my drawer and picked up an envelope that was peeking from piles of paper. It was what

I needed. I needed to breathe. I needed a reason to live.

*

I held her tight. It’s been a long time, I realized. She’s still the way she was before, carefree and confident. I let her go and looked deep in her eyes. These eyes belong to the girl I once loved; the girl I once held dear to my heart. But as I looked into her eyes, all I saw was the face of the girl who owns my heart now. Faith.

She smiled at me hopefully, awaiting the words that will seal our fate. The past few weeks had been a rollercoaster ride for me. Ria’s homecoming and confession that she’s still in love with me shook Faith and I’s relationship. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve hurt Ria before and I don’t want to hurt her again. Yet, if I choose to not break Ria’s heart, I will hurt the girl that I love.

“Do you still love her? Are you going back to her?” She asked me. Faith.

I didn’t know what to say. Looking at her trying to be strong just makes me weak. I wanted to throw my arms around her, hold her so tight and not let her go.

“I still love her.”

I wanted to pull her closer and hold her tighter. I wanted her to stay with me. I wanted to tell her that there’s no other girl I’d rather be with than her. I wanted so much to tell her that I love her more than I have loved Ria and yet, I watched her walked away.

I knew I screwed up. I shouldn’t have lied to her. Now, I finally realized what my heart knew all along. I was ready to tell her I am certain that she’s the girl I want to be with. But she didn’t come. I waited and waited but Faith never came.

I was greeted by her friend at her apartment’s gate.

“She already left. You just missed her.”

“Where did she go?” I asked. Her friend stared at me, confused.

“She didn’t tell you?” I shook my head. “She’s on her way to the airport. She’s leaving for Tokyo.”

I didn’t know I was capable of out-running the cab that I passed by. Forty-five minutes later, I was having a verbal argument with the guards who were restraining me from entering the boarding area.

“You don’t understand. I need to get inside. I have to stop her. I need to talk to her!” I pleaded. I knew I must have looked foolish but I didn’t care. All I could think of was how to stop Faith from leaving.

“Please let me in, just a minute. I just need to talk to…” I was cut off by a familiar voice behind me.

“Gino?” I turned around. Jane, Faith’s best friend was standing behind me, her eyes red and puffy. “She left.” She told me sadly.

She walked towards me to reach for my hand but I started to walk blindly past her. I was like a robot, walking aimlessly without direction.

*

I took one last look at the place I grew up in as the plane prepared to take-off. One last look at the place that shelters the people I care for and love. I bid my goodbye to the land that I used to live in as the plane took off, together with the beautiful memories of the love that I once knew.